Monday, December 3, 2007

In Which if You Know Me, This Post Will Either Fan the Flames of Your Vanity or Really Insult You

I don't know why I didn't post on this when it actually happened, but about a year ago I had the most vivid dream of my entire life. I dreamt that the people in Hollywood (may their tribe increase!) were making a biopic about me, and I was sitting in a theater watching the trailer. Strangely, I never appeared in the trailer but everyone I know or had ever met did. Most of my friends and family members were played by major actors, some of whom are not actually alive, which anachronism caused me to realize it was a dream and to wake up. A few nights ago, I had a more fragmentary version of the same dream, which was stranger this time, and relied more heavily on the musical theme from "M*A*S*H." Again, I was curiously abscent from my own movie. I like to think that this was only due to the fact that Collin Farrel had scheduling conflicts and could not commit to the role, but I digress.

Anyhoo, this is the casting as I remember it. I have arranged them in order of how apt I think the casting choice is. If you are not flattered by the person who played you, then try to remind my subconcious of somebody else next time.

1. Josh Gibbs- Philip Seymour Hoffman
2. Davis Wilson- Andy Samberg (of SNL "Lazy Sunday" fame)
3. Drew Nicholas- Vince Vaughn.
4. Dana Banks- Played by Winona Ryder, who was pretending to be Audrey Hepburn.
5. Daniel Cornell- James Franco
6. Chad Honsinger-Daniel Craig, sans British accent and Bond Gadgetry.
7. Katie Botkin- Anne Hathaway.
8. James Banks- Al Pacino, c. 1972. This was problematic casting, and Pacino/James kept intersplicing dialogue from the first two Godfather movies and the "Attica, Attica!" line from Dog Day Afternoon into my movie. And for the record the casting director in the dream remarked that this casting only took place because Toby Maguire was busy.
9. Adrian Klingensmith- Hillary Swank. This was the conscious part of my brain acting up, since
I remember commenting on the resemblance before.
10. Ashleigh Hebert- Selma Hayek. Ash, you should be totally flattered.
11. Asher Weinbaum- This was out of left field; as it happened, the actor bold enough to step into this role in live-action form is not yet born, so his likeness was reproduced on screen via motion-capture animation.
12. Marshall Pierce- Jake Gyllenhaal. It's nothing personal.
13. Jeff Moss- Sean Penn. Again, I don't make the rules, I just apply them subconciously.
14. They weren't actually in the movie, but Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper all wandered onto the set at one point. This was cool.

There were about a hundred others, but these were the most eyebrow arching I thought.


Lincoln Davis said...

Mine is definitely one of the least flattering, but I agree it is also one of the most apt. Weird.

Thomas Banks said...

Dude, Samberg is the best thing SNL has right now.

Jeff Moss said...

Are you sure this was all really in the dream(s)? I know I start editing my memories of dreams to make them more coherent from the moment I wake up, if not before.

I have, however, had the experience of dreaming and then (months later) getting what was definitely a sequel to the first dream.

Jeff Moss said...

Oh, and thanks for making me the one where the casting choice was the most head-scratching. Otherwise I'd be really worried...

Thomas Banks said...

No, this was a purely dormant conjuration. My dreams are strange in that they are for the most part rational and don't involve too much Lewis Carroll type stuff; their normalcy is their source of strangeness, in other words.

The wanderer A said...

Vince Vaughn.....moments from Wedding Crashers keep coming to mind and his brilliant little monologue on dating at the beginning.....still not sure though. Some of those are head on though which is funny. Not sure about Chad's but Daniel and Marshal's for sure.

The wanderer A said...

oh yea, that sounds like an awesome dream