tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post4807391742879083493..comments2023-06-11T04:55:09.337-07:00Comments on Alms for Oblivion: Lewis on FriendshipThomas Bankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06855333805635398250noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-56410694472940492842007-04-27T11:47:00.000-07:002007-04-27T11:47:00.000-07:00As to No. 3 on Ben's list-In any other culture tha...As to No. 3 on Ben's list-<BR/><BR/>In any other culture than this one, I'd be down with that.Thomas Bankshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06855333805635398250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-34003910367905271612007-04-27T05:36:00.000-07:002007-04-27T05:36:00.000-07:00hez,i'm ambivalent on that one. on the one hand, ...hez,<BR/><BR/>i'm ambivalent on that one. on the one hand, i've had a couple very close friendships with girls that were absolutely platonic. on the other hand, they may not have appeared so to someone on the outside (speculative, evil-minded brutes that we are). <BR/>i've also had a few "friends" who, despite all our protestations to the contrary, turned into much more than that. so, on this topic, a few things to bear in mind as you consider your friendships with men:<BR/><BR/>1. <B>attraction + proximity = attachment</B> (even if it ain't mutual)<BR/><BR/>2. <B>reputation and the appearance of evil are as much your responsibility as avoiding actual sexual sin</B>. gossips asside, if people you respect are giving you the old stink eye, you <I>are</I> doing something wrong, even if it's not what they think you are doing.<BR/><BR/>3. <B>"It is good for a man not to touch a woman"</B>. though i am all for the hug or kiss on the cheek between close friends (mr. wilson, cold fish that he is, will disagree with me here), too much of a good thing, even if the formula in #1 doesn't apply, can become a <I>very</I> good thing, if you follow. <BR/><BR/>i know those came off as largely negative, but i figure you, like me, don't really need encouragement in the other direction so much.<BR/><BR/>blessings,<BR/><BR/>bAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-64388852754245499972007-04-26T04:05:00.000-07:002007-04-26T04:05:00.000-07:00where i put an "and", there should be a but (when ...where i put an "and", there should be a but (when I talk about my own experience). i should have waited to post when i was more awake.... so forgive my post if it seems a bit garbled.Miss Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14010957873530396920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-42064707625846961702007-04-26T04:02:00.000-07:002007-04-26T04:02:00.000-07:00I really enjoyed this post... I would like to know...I really enjoyed this post... I would like to know what you think about friendships between men and women. Because so many people are fighting against the perversions of relationships between men and women and the soiling of marriage, I think that they have made all relationships between men and women too sexually charged.. and my own experience has taught me that it is truly rare to find a friendship between a man and a woman that is not on some level based on attraction.... yet...... I want that kind of asexual friendship to be possible.<BR/>What do you think? <BR/>For Tom's married readers (basically, Ben and Mr. Evan), I'd also love to know what you think.... and lastly, Davis, if you have any thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them as well.Miss Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14010957873530396920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-29962994610155074462007-04-25T22:00:00.000-07:002007-04-25T22:00:00.000-07:00Tom, this is gay. I dont think men should even use...Tom, this is gay. I dont think men should even use the word intimate. I feel like taking a shower after typing it. Dudes were meant to get a wife, leave their buddies in the dust, and call them every once in a while, throw the pigskin around while BBQ'ing once a year or so. This neglect of brotherly love is all for the best, there are too many fags around anyway. I like to be left alone most of the time anyway. The internet is great, because i can talk to people very platonically, and keep a nice 5 mile plus distence from all dudeage.RespectMyAuthoritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17447354256530287927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-8527752478025586012007-04-25T12:51:00.000-07:002007-04-25T12:51:00.000-07:00That's an interesting point, especially taken in l...That's an interesting point, especially taken in light of statements like Bertrand Russell's "Loyalty is one of the greatest forms of evil."<BR/><BR/>Personally, one thing I notice is that modern conservatives tend to overate deductive reasoning as the basis for policy, whereas liberals tend to put too much emphasis on the inductive, "Think of the poor single mother in Compton" line. Strangely, this is the opposite of what would have been the case 150 years ago. Hmm.<BR/><BR/>I may have to post more on this.Thomas Bankshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06855333805635398250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-63058508718628602162007-04-25T10:55:00.000-07:002007-04-25T10:55:00.000-07:00i agree with you completely, though you could argu...i agree with you completely, though you could argue that friendship has already been dismantled (to a degree) by an enlightenment-induced elevation of <I>propositional assertion</I> over <I>personal relationship</I>, which idea conservatives bought into long ago. <BR/>that was the point of the presbyterian jab: there seems to be a new presby hate-storm over some doctrinal minutiae every other week (FV, NPP, etc. <I>ad nauseum</I>)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-91513389164763741172007-04-25T09:43:00.000-07:002007-04-25T09:43:00.000-07:00Ben-For all intents and purposes, you may be right...Ben-<BR/><BR/>For all intents and purposes, you may be right, and maybe I should have picked a different word than "Misinterpreted." What I meant though, was that people at present are not adamantly trying to dismantle the "Institution" of friendship (If it can be called that) in the same degree as say, marriage. <BR/><BR/>BTW, what do you mean "Popular Presbyterian Pastimes?"<BR/><BR/>...And props on the alliteration.Thomas Bankshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06855333805635398250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117439219993737916.post-8999997947213626662007-04-25T09:16:00.000-07:002007-04-25T09:16:00.000-07:00bom,but we have seen it perverted: a proper unders...bom,<BR/><BR/>but we have seen it perverted: a proper understanding of comaraderie would make non-existent most of the popular prsbyterian pass-times.<BR/><BR/>"boon comrade" is the best phrase i've heard all month. <I>rem acu tetigisti</I>, as a guy once said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com